Sunday, December 27, 2009

The truth as only I can tell it - no, seriously. Don't you roll your eyes at me!!!

I stopped using the word 'dollop' when Tammy Fay Bakker died.

Every time a john leaves $50.00 on the table for me, I die a little inside.  Or at least I would

... if I were a sensitive person ... or a hooker ... or owned a table.

Too bad  really, I could use the $50.00. 

I don't judge others - unless I feel like it.  That's just  a rule I live by.

I wish I had enough money to buy my own private island!  And THEN I wish I could sell it for twice what I paid!

I've noticed you can either be amazing in bed or amazing to talk to, but never both.  I just feel really sorry for the ones who are neither.  Maybe they're amazing to make model airplanes with... who knows?

Before you judge Prince William I suggest you walk a mile in his shoes!  No, seriously, those supple, hand-tooled $7,500.00 a pair Polo Boots are like wrapping a piece of heaven around your feet!

Like the rest of the world, I'm looking forward to the day Paris Hilton gets fat  Will she disappear like Liz Taylor or try to disguise it with cleverly draped two piece ensembles like Liza Minelli?  Talk about your win/win scenario...

Legendary Hollywood men still working: Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Robert De Niro
Legendary Hollywood women still working: Pam Anderson
Well, that's revealing... and don't you dare say Meryl Streep!!!!  You KNOW that's just to muddy the water and keep us in ignorance.  Well played straight men, well played.

Anyone else growing tired of the word 'extreme' being attached to every boring sport these days?

Can anyone name 10 athletes from the last Olympics?  And if so, let's hope there's a rehab for that.

The power of money?  You can name your daughter 'Ivanka' and no one laughs.

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