Friday, September 23, 2011

I'm just saying...

Why do people keep going on about Jacqueline Kennedy? It's not like she ever submitted anyone in the Octagon.  ...other than Gore Vidal, but who hasn't?

People who put down 'The Vagina Monologues' are just participating in a smear campaign.

Does no one remember when Fonzie donned a pair of Moccasins to dance with Joanie?! I'm sorry, but the shark jump pales in comparison.

Just want to be clear. Chaz Bono was criticized for going on 'Dancing With The Stars' because some people feel he's not really a man? Not the 'not really a star' thing? Or the 'not really a show worth watching' thing?

Amy Winehouse died. Oh, I know it's old news, but on the off chance any of her friends visited earth recently I just wanted to let them know too.

Anyone know how Papua New Guinea is doing these days? They've been pretty low key.

What with the breast implants, the svelte new body and the longer hair, I hardly recognized Matt Le Blanc in his new show 'Whitney', but there's no hiding that kind of talent.

I think Charlie Sheen said it best when he puked into his pillow. He should write a book.

Whenever I hear those kids singing 'Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?' all I hear is an Amber Alert gearing up.

Frankly I can't even picture a 'Ball Peeing Hammer' let alone want to buy one.

Hey does anyone else remember 'Groin Hair Cher' dolls? (am I spelling that right?)

At this point, if you want to stand out in the world of Rap, calling yourself 'Leonard' should work.

When did everyone start calling bird shit, 'fascinators'?

I understand their 'equal rights' argument but if we let women go topless, then 40 year old men are going to start demanding the same thing.

I can only assume 'Hewitt' is Gaelic for 'To Show Off Her Huge Knockers'.

I'm experienced enough to know that somewhere there's a repulsive little puke who's going to make me miss Justin Bieber.

Ironically I pray each night for help with my obsessive praying. So far no answer.

You don't want to know how many really disturbing sexual experiences had to take place for thousands of years for Gary Busey to exist to make it onto 'Celebrity Apprentice'.

Did you know a real princess can feel a pea under a stack of mattresses? Proving my point that they're all bitching unpleasable skanks.

It may not be appropriate, but I STILL think we should hold a 'He's Dead!' parade when Ashton Kutcher dies. Relax! We can have a black flowered float if you cry babies absolutely insist.