Saturday, March 20, 2010

Inappropriate things I may or may not have done in my life...

                                   French kissed the bride.  Hey!  I'd never been to a lesbian wedding before and I didn't know the rules, okay?!?!

                                   Had a tickle fight with the Pope.  You think that was inappropriate for ME?!?!  Unreal.  The Pope can get away with murder.

                                  Looked Jennifer Love Hewitt right in the eyes and said, "I will NOT go into the light."

                                   Accidentally farted at Princess Diana's funeral.  That's not really the inappropriate part.  As people started noticing I kept makiing a face and pointing at The Queen.

                                   I once went for seconds at a charity buffet for a fasting prisoner.

Okay, okay, I was also the guy who THREW the charity buffet for a fasting prisoner.

                                   I once sold a Time Share to Mother Theresa.  She didn't need it and it took her a hellish 10 years to get out of it, but I made my quota that month!

                                   Never warmed up to Madonna.  Oh YOU may not find that inappropriate, but I'm barred from 34,453 gay bars because of it!

1 comment:

  1. There were many many inappropriate things that you've done that you have conveniently forgotten. I won't bore you with a list, but the one at the top would be that time you wore a white evening gown AFTER Labour Day. I bet the old folks at the Bingo Hall are STILL talking about it.