You know, and this is just me thinking out loud, mind...

Why are there actresses but not doctresses?

What the hell is the opposite of flammable then?

Who died and made Gilligan owner of the island?


Is there a place for eggs in the brave new metric world?


Eight pack hot dog buns are just stupid.


I think I'm getting too old to have an Ed Asner Pin Up in my room.

Tattoos look horrible on old fat people and we are ALL going to be old fat people.  Ergo...

How come the more money people get, the more they want to eat frogs, slugs, fish eggs, fungus and the like?

Am I the only one who's feeling confident that when I go it won't be in my own private jet, like JFK Jr.?

Why don't they just leave the hatches battened down to begin with?

Does anyone else think that there's an entire untapped market out there for Adult Diapers?

Hats off to the person who invented wigs!

Wigs off to the person who invented hats!

Why do we all wish for a long life and then despise getting older?

I don't get pickles.

Will anyone ever acknowledge that the Rat Pack guys joking about Sammy Davis Jr. being black were just out and out creepy?

Fish in aquariums must go batshit from boredom.

Dr. Drew is simply a dominatrix with a camera crew.

Correct me if I'm wrong but honey comes from a bee's pee pee.  Surely you can spend your money on something a little cleaner.

Seriously, the letter 'C' is superfluous. Of course so is the word 'superfluous'.

You know why we're weird?  We spend our lives wanting to believe the people we're trying to impress are impressive themselves.

How do doctors go home and eat?  OMG! Or DENTISTS?!?!

If fashion changes, is it ever really worth having?

If we were smart we'd make 'fat' the new 'sexy'.  People living during the Renaissance were brilliant!

If a can opener fails, does it become a can't opener?

Winners MUST quit occasionally.  Or don't they ever sleep?

Just so I'm clear.  God actually planted a 'forbidden' tree, pointed it out, stressed that it was 'forbidden' and then was surprised that they tried it?  Is God serious?  Why didn't he just leave his wallet on the dresser too?

Between you and me, I think Mary Poppins was uppity.