Sunday, July 31, 2011

THIS blog now comes with scrubbing bubbles!

"We've had a working theory on how untalented people can become successful for years, but we haven't published because there's a HUGE ongoing debate over whether to call it the the 'Jonas Brothers' or 'Taylor Swift' Principle." - Scientists

I'd like to write a tribute song for Elton John but it's like the man JUST WON'T DIE!!

I'll take this one Tea Baggers.
By blaming man for this supposed 'extreme weather' we're letting Satan off the hook! It's World War II all over again... yw.

So, guess who had the sexual experience of a lifetime last night? Nope, not me. Guess again.

I'm not a religious man, but lately I've been kneeling down to pray. I realize now, it's going to take Divine intervention to ease Jennifer Anniston off the stage.

Say what you want about Oprah, ...seriously.

 Whatever happened to 'working hard for an honest dollar'?! My dollars SAY they'll cover my bills, but they never do. Liars!

I assume people who spend the day at 'the Spa' don't understand how good binge drinking can feel.

Yeah, I got taken. 'Run for the Pedicure' should have been the tip off.

I've begun positioning myself for what's coming, by mentioning to people that for just 'pennies a day' they can already buy me a coffee.

Know what's fun? Yelling 'Shut up Fred!' at a Monster Truck Rally & then just sitting back to watch the fights.

Maybe I'm a musical 'purist' but it's all been shit since 'Green Sleeves'.

If they ever DO find intelligent life out in the cosmos, can we PLEASE give it a couple of days before hitting them with telemarketing?!

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