Richer people ask poorer people to donate generously to the poorest people and THEN deduct their expenses from the donations. I suspect richer people chuckle a lot.
Why do we always rally round to re-build someone's home that was destroyed but never rally round people who never had a home to be destroyed in the first place? < I know, terrible sentence, but still a valid question.
Being rich and having a beautiful wife isn't something to be proud of. That's like being proud of getting wet when it rains. Ditto being beautiful and having a rich husband.
Using nature to support a moral argument is just plain stupid. Animals don't give a rat's ass about morals.
Why doesn't anyone ever want to meet the person who WROTE the beautiful song instead of the person who only sang it?
Weddings are like moves. Your friends and family WILL be there, but that doesn't mean they want to be, so it's nice if you can ply them with booze after.
How come no one calls being left handed a 'lifestyle choice'?
The only people who ask if something makes them look fat, know they aren't yet.
Why do people think being single is lonely but being in a loveless marriage isn't?
If God really exists and really made Man in his image, he must be pretty gassy.
Who told women that a fat lip is a sexy look? Those 'beestung' lips they're paying for are truly gruesome.
You know the only reason you should get married? If you both have FUN together doing nothing. FUN. No other reason is remotely good enough.
Pound for pound, the hornet has to be the toughest sumbitch on the planet. Too bad they're so ugly. That's right hornets, I'm calling you out!
Hey pets! What's with all the dander?!?!