#1 reasons - The list

#1 reason no one cares about online sex tapes anymore:
Realizing that it's just a matter of time before one of Maya Angelou's surface.

#1 reason people love to see Susan Boyle on stage:
Guarantees she won't be sitting at your table hitting on you.

#1 reason to see Avatar:
To piss off Linda Hamilton.

#1 reason to ease up on 'living healthy':
You'll spend the best years of your life miserable just to gain 10 more years - 10 YEARS of trying to go pee.

#1 reason to hang out with Liza Minnelli:
 You might get to marry her - if you're gay... and desperate.

#1 reason to clip your nose hair:
People might start having lunch with you again.  Might.

#1 reason William Shatner changed his name:
It was just way less creepy in the past tense.  (Give it a minute)

#1 reason to miss Michael Jackson:
Tito

#1 reason to make a #1 reason list:
A #2 list just sounds like some sort of scat fetish.